second semester already?

Yup. It is. 2nd semester of PA school and I am still here! Amazing.

It was a hellofa semester- partly because of PA school, partly because life reminded me that I am NOT in control and that I had better just hold on. So, I held, was exhausted, paid a physical price but made it in the end. No shining glory for me. A B kinda semester, which means passing, but...honestly, was horrid.

But I am here.

So, books- important. Very important. Mosbys? May be one of the worst books ever. So many edits that need to be done, it's just scary. I fixate on those, which, of course, does not help. I seem to also use the PA PANCE prep book a lot, which is great.

Anatomy has stuck more than I thought, but overall, not a terrific experience, although Dr. Tracy-Bee was amazing, the lab, which should have been even more amazing, was a crash and burn as we did not have a great lab instructor. I highly recommend Dr. B. She is worth it in the end.

Classes? Love Clin Med, and do love PE but I think I got off on the wrong foot. This semester seems to be better, but I have no idea until I actually get in there and do something. So, that is how it is. PathoPhys? Oh boy- hard to keep positive in that class. Dr. P is being to grow on me. And HCI, well, that is just a great class!  Stephanie is doing a great job- and the best part of all is that it keeps us positive about becoming a PA as we are actually doing something that seems related.

I had a bad experience on my comprehensive exam. First, my mom was in the hospital in A-Fib  and my patient had a total coughing attack in the middle. I think I failed, but oh well. Onto the next one (after I re-do this one...I would not have changed anything, in the end, at least. )

Hopefully I'll get better at this, as I do enjoy remembering what was....

I am going to post on the other blog, as my life

is really about being in school. But, again, I am totally aware that horses are it for me. I adore them. I love being with them. I love smelling them.

Everything about them? I love.  I sit in my wee office, trying to write and read, and I can look out and see them. I watch them eat and know what they are doing at all times, their activities, and the hierarchy of the herd. But the best thing about these boys is this: they get along. Really really well. They are good to each other (as much as horses can be) and they also love me. This may sound silly, but the nicker that Reason gives my car when I pull in the drive will often bring tears to my eyes. Both Tahoe and Wrainthur put their heads into my arms when I need it most, allowing me to cuddle them in a way a horse should not. I

I just...well, I adore them. I don't want fancy rings, or necklaces, or fancy cars. I want my boys to be happy, to look and feel outstanding and to always feel safe. That is what makes life ok for them- to feel safe.

I am so glad they are in my life....

Hallelujah Rendition: Emory PA Graduation

Wow- beginning week 4 already...

We have had 4 tests already- and I think I have passed them. I know I have passed 2 of them at least- and am fairly sure about the fourth.  This week brings my first clinical- Card IM- at Grace Sinai. Please note: I have NO idea where this is. Where is my map, anyway?

Speaking of maps- I have decided that this is pretty much unchartered waters for me. I feel lost 90% of the time. I am aware that certain things are harder for me than for others- this is okay, but frustrating- clearly youth is helpful in the regard. I hope I will do well in clinicals. I am going to assume that my forte will be the time with patients. Clearly, anatomy and rote memorization are not my forte. There is one area where getting a B will suffice. :)

So, I have spent more money on books in the past month then in my entire life- even building my "horse" library. I can see how they will truly be important. I have lots more I should get, and even more that I'd like to get. I can see how Greys or the full-blown Netters would be quite nice.

I have great classmates- and a new husband in Anne Hall, seen above with her bright smile. Arts comment was we already look alike, which I will take as a compliment. She is bright, smart, sweet and quite funny. She also does tell it like it is, which I appreciate greatly. "Right??"

And, just as a last note- there is NO way that I could have prepared for this. Perhaps taken a "real" anatomy class, and maybe given a bit more of a damn in my sciences that I took. But for the overall picture- they said it would be hard, I believed them, but no way did I ever imagine it would be THIS hard.  Today is an okay day, but then again, I spent hours working this weekend. I decided to update this blog so I have some sort of record and since  type pretty quickly, it's time well spent just so I can remember. Because, forgetting might be the MO soon- not the information but the frustration of gaining all that information into my brain.


Hope that I will get better at updating things- but in the meantime, I shall believe what those that have gone before me have said- those that make it persevere at this point- it's not the brainy but the stubborn that will still be standing in 23 months. And  that drinking from a firehose is tough, just don't try and get it all at once- you can't and might drown trying.

First day...done!

I left to meet my car pool buddies when the sky was deep velvety blue and the moon was just a clear sliver of bright light.  This, I suppose was the perfect symbolism for this journey- I can't see much but there is a light that I am directed towards, and this is good....

The first day was filled with learning that I probably need more books than I currently possess, and that I had best get cracking soon. The problem with that is this: I have NO idea what to get cracking on! We did not get a clear guide line of what we are to do, so I am somewhat going to punt. I think I read on the Forum that getting those diseases that we are responsible for (our A list) as well as the B and C list is best accomplished by setting them on cards with each section clearly delineated. I will try and find that reference soon!

Off to day 2, and more PE!

A thank you

to all that were kind enough to mentor me during this process.  I realize that this was an invasion of your work day, time away from getting your job done efficiently. I realize that with each patient that came in the door, you realized, as did I, that my being there was an invasion of their lives- their most private lives. In this, I must also that the patients that accepted me and allowed me to eavesdrop into their visit.

By allowing someone to shadow, to experience what the real word of being a PA, you have given a gift both to the future PA but also to the profession. It is not surprising that it's a requirement to shadow a PA for acceptance into most programs. The day to day life of each PA and their particular area of practice is vastly different from each other. By looking at each particular PA I shadowed and what their careers entailed, I was able to see the possibilities for my own career, and honestly, give me some "oomph" in the rather tedious process of pre-reqs.

I had wonderful PA's to shadow. I sat in on  morning rounds, grand rounds, the weekly trauma meetings, and cardio-thoracic meetings. I was in the hospital, in clinics, in private offices and in the Student Health center. I saw a lot- stitches, a very interesting I & D, burns,  a freshy pregnant woman, a first pelvic, numerous UTI's,  skeletal issues, and things I just had never thought of- how does someone get something stuck in their ear? Especially if they are over the age of six?

So, thank you. Thank you for your time, your advice, your support. Thank you for offering an ear and saying "if you need anything, just drop on email!" Thanks for the tips on surviving school, for the copies of notes taken, for the books passed on. Thanks for taking your time, both for and with me, but for the profession itself.

One week from today I will really begin!

I have started to put my office together and feel as if I am "nesting" and getting that space together. I want it to reflect me, yet also be very very organized. It's a mess right now (will post progress pictures). I got bookcases at Ikea and Art put doors on them which look amazing! So, now on to filling those cases and getting things done the best that I can.

I am planning on ordering the books that I really REALLY need tomorrow from Amazon. I have enough supplies and things to get the year started. I am very pleased that I have my live scribe pen. My laptop seems to be functioning okay enough, so it will be fine. Was planning on the iPad but don't think so just yet.

I have had a terrible time sleeping and being calm. Up this AM at 6:45, and will push that back 15 min each day until 5:30 is the normal time. Hoping to get to bed by 10ish and up at 5:30. This should work, but I am feeling very flexible in how I deal with everything. That's good, as the rest of my life feels VERY out of control!

I made it home!

So, after a lot of - ahem- issues, we, meaning Reason, Tahoe, Izzy and myself, made it on the road back to MI. This is nothing to brag about, I assure you, but I had to do it, face reality, and get on with it.

Once back here, I realized that the horses, by necessity, will be taking a  back seat in the overall picture. Doc is for sale, and perhaps even Tahoe if the right person comes along. Actually leasing Tahoe would be great, but I need to figure out his silly kidney issues right now. He sure has something that is NQR about him. I like him a lot, so if I don't sell him, that's fine. I'd love the Doc money, however, incl. the Brenderup money....ah, for 20K sitting in the horse-kitty....Nice! (let me state right here that I hate money more than anything else in the entire world...honestly. Well, except child abuse... which is probably often spurred by lack of money.)

So, the trip back was not easy. The truck stalled numerous times, after dying right before I left when I had Autumn pick me up and drive me back to DarkHorse where there was NO power. Yesyesyes. What a way to leave. So Nick P came on Sunday night, took me out for dinner, and I fell asleep knowing that in the AM Stotts would try and solve my truck issues. Well, the damn thing worked JUST fine for them. Once I got on the road Tuesday AM, it started stalling. Thankfully, never totally died. But, the process was miserable.  I made it to MI in 11.5 hrs, and liked the actual drive time a lot- never went inside anywhere- just ate what I had in the truck and drovedrovedrove.  (I am on 3's today...)

So, the truck got me home...and it's status turned to Golden Truck after it died right after I unhitched it. Thankfully Art also was able to see that it was dead, and in his way thinking that I was doing something wrong (as we all would) tried to start it himself. And it did not start. This turns out to be strangely good, as when Palmer got the truck (towed in of course), it started. Now, if Art had not seen and tried to start it, it would have confirmed to him that I am a total whack job. I may well be one, but damn it, this truck has personality and it did not want to leave Tryon any more than I did. Love it when inanimate objects mirror my emotions.

So, the chicks arrived, and 7 died. That has never happened to me and it made me VERY sad. So, I am now at 21 chicks (went and got several more and gave 6 to Trish- 26 + 8=34-6=28-7=21.  See? Math skills intact. They are of course cute as chicks can be.

It's been the week of getting ready to get to PA school. I am trying to get the office in order, and have gotten Bookcases from Ikea which Art and I put together yesterday. I like it, and feel as if I am nesting for school. Its a process, but...oh well, getting there is more than half the battle- only one more week to get there! Sheesh! That  6 months went fast!

So, I started another blog as a PA-S, and will try to keep horse/family/animal/farm things here and more school and personal musings about being a PA on the other blog. I assume that I will cross my lines a lot, but know I am trying. Onto the other blog and the building of the office and Arts Trip to Ikea

Tryon pony times

Here I am in Tryon, doing my last 20 days stint before school starts, riding ponies, playing with Annika and just overall having a super time. I just cannot think of a better word to describe it. Its the kind of time that makes you sigh with contentment, and thank god for such lovely times. I have not kept up with the blog, nor email contacts which makes me sad- however, this time is just what I needed. I will have these memories to hold me during the next several months.

Here is a link to my FB album with pics of the ponies....
My Tryon pony times.  Hopefully this link will work.... if not, here are a few "hot shots..."  I am so thankful to have these pictures.

This is Reason, who has taken to being a "real" horse is fine fashion!

  And Wrainthur, showing his Canter off...

Here is

 Tahoe, showing that soon, we will have a gallop....

So, all in all, good good times. Now I am heading to a great dinner made by Nick and Jazz, with sweet Annika talking in the background. It is indeed Carolina Time....

3 more weeks

and I am still scared! I am hoping that somehow I gain brains and memory and the ability to grasp concepts that today seem impossible!

School actually begins in 3 weeks....

and I am more scared then ever about beginning. I have to remind myself the good and the bad- about me, school, my family and then realize that the good outweighs the bad.

Clive'

This is Clive', or CJ as his friends and family know him.  CJ is one of those very special patients that will not be forgotten, and deserve serious mention. 

He came to our unit (CICU) and is being worked up for a few issues. CJ is legally blind... and very VERY shy. He is 19 years old. To say that the past several years of his life have been hard would really be an understatement.

But look at this smile. That smile only peeked out a few times, but with this smile, CJ could move mountains. I really hope that he one day sees himself in the same sort of lovely light that we saw in him. He was very worried about pain, and felt scared. I was there when he got his PICC and thereby was able to see just what a lovely young man he is.

Yesterday was Easter. CJ had no family to visit him. I had some easter candy I was going to offer up for the night shift, I decided (knowing that I might be in trouble, but oh well...)  to make him an Easter Basket. I was lucky enough to find a basket that suited in our cabinets, and proceeded to fill it with as many goodies as I could find. I carried it over to CVC and presented it to CJ. Now, imagine that smile with the light of lots of candy...chocolate...jelly beans....! That hug he gave me made up for all those exhausting nights working, those back to backs that made my head pound. Thank you CJ...for making my last day as a Tech one of my best days.

So, I will look at CJ's picture in the coming months, and this will help me remember why I am walking down my path. Because it's this smile that makes everything worth it.

Okay- that's me, but...she LOVED her hair!

and here are a few of the other patients that have touched my heart....

He wanted one last picture. He did not last the night. A Lovely man, who was glad to join his wife....

He eventually did not make it, but they fought the long fight- together. When this picture was taken, they had been married about 8 months.

Pretty sure this was the cutest most loving family ever. He spent a lot of time laughing...

Mr. M did make it home, or to rehab. This is his wife, Sheryl with him.  She loves him SOOOO much....

I don't think anything needs to be said about Ryan. He is a star in every sense of the word. This is 8 days post heart transplant.

This is also another patient past txp. He was amazing and strong thru out everything. One of those who don't say much but then when they do say something, you realize exactly what a difference you can make. It also is a good reminder that vented patients can and do remember things sometimes. 

And, for full disclosure, every one of these patients knew I was taking their picture and I sent them the pictures for them to have. They also knew that I might put them in my blog....

Joy with a great friend...

I got a FB message from Jess today. She could come out. And she could ride. (If I said that I had one of those excited trills carouse thru my body, it would be quite true.)

It's been so long since she has been here that she had not met Poppi nor Izzy. Ummm serious time had passed. Jess is the best horse friend a person can have. She is fun (perhaps slightly crazy- does she feel pain??) and a fantastic instructor. I am ripe for instruction...and selfish in being very excited that Jess was going to be here. Plus, she is a busy grad student and gets the schedule thing. To say that Jess is busy is really quite the understatement.

Jess meeting the older Wrainthur

But back to instruction. Jess makes me work hard- and the horse work hard, too. Yet, somehow you finish feeling so...excited about everything. I always finish on the verge of tears. I realize that sounds silly, but I do- because I am so grateful.   So, I put Jess on Tahoe and I rode Wrainthur. I really wanted to see Tahoe go, and I wanted to see what Wrainthur would do.






And above is Jess on Tahoe in the indoor. He was really good- not sure if you can see the smile on Jess' face, but it's there!

We finished up the day by riding the boys around the farm on the trails, and was lucky enough that Art wanted to play with his camera.  The horses did not really want to oblige by keeping their ears up, but that's okay!

Jess meeting the older Reason

What I remembered is this: I love horses. I love them in the same way I did when I was 8 years old, galloping around on the end of a dog leash with some "trainer" asking me for a canter and pretending to buck. The same way I would play with my Golden and pretend she was an amazing jumper and train her in our yard to jump crazy things. The same way I tended to my breyer horses. It's the exact same love I had then as I do know. I love everything about them.

And what I know is this: They remain and will remain a part of my life forever. Because they are as much of me as I am of me.

Reason become a BIG BOY!! (and I continue thinking and my good luck continues)

Well it happened!  I blogged earlier about starting to work with Reason. Well, today I long lined him. And in the spirit of my earlier posts, one thing leads to another (this is how school girls get in trouble...not like I know anything about that... *blush*) and I took it a bit further. And for the love of all things equine, that darn little pony just walked right up to the plate and hit a home run.

Now, please know, I have no fucking clue how to long line. I mean I "get" it, but I don't know how to do what I get, if you know what I mean. So, it was kind of another Laurel and Hardy moment where I was untangling the lines, and trying to figure out how to run them thru the irons, and how to attach them, and why the hell are they so long????????  So, off we went. I wish I had pics, because I am sure there were moments that might have made the epic fail blog, of which (in my dreams) I am often the lead story.

Reason might have been the poster child for a well raised horse. Kind of like my daughter. Made me look good. He was...well, not just good but Tony-the-Tiger great. And then...as seems to be my way these days, I of course thought...

"hmmm, that went well. I had better get on him- just so he remembers his(eventual)job."

So I did. Outside. Using the Rock. With a  PITA JRT underfoot.

I might not be the sharpest pencil in the box (mixing metaphors I know... but this thought deserves as many as possible.) at times. I guess, however, that I am lucky sometimes and with Reason that has indeed been the case.

So, on I go. And I say...Walk on!  And he does. Remember 3 days ago when he only would back up, trying to get his head at my shoulder??  Well, that was not today!  So I decided  that since that went well, we might walk down the drive way.  I don't know how to upload to youtube- but I have a link to my FB page where I have some of the video posted.







Hope that works!! If it does, here is another....

I actually got everyone ridden today... Tahoe was good, Wrainthur was good,

although we did take a rather unintended spin in the woods due to a strange

piece of something that he has seen at least 100  times. 

Really.

So, hopefully more tomorrow!

what one does before becoming a PA-S

It's clear, I am scared. Scared a lot scared. I have poured myself into making cards again, have ridden more this week than any other in past memory(i spoke of that earlier- nice nice nice!). I have finally moved past the Taco issue (had to put that one to bed once and for all, and thank God I think I might have!)  I have walked into my "office" and thought about how I need to change it. Maybe I will start that today??
Maybe not. I keep feeling like I have something I am supposed to do today, and can't remember what it is!

Here are some of the cards. Some, I really like a lot...




This one made me want to do another...

and this one was that effort.

                                      I like my first one better, I think...But a happy mistake is the pseudo face that appears in the bottom right....

I then decided that I would try this.... 

This worked out okay- I think. That is the fiber stuff that I am SO not good with, but this was a cool way to use it, I think. I used UTTE for the enameling.

I then used UTTE to make this. It was on paper (Not such a good idea, 

as the actual image was non-existent once I fired it up...oops. Glad that I had outlined it first!

So, anyway, a few cards. I am now going out to feed...hope nothing "oops" greets me! Why is it with horses that so many "oops" happen?????

Where I continue my riding(and do a lot of "thinking")

BHow sad is it that I am excited (and quite sore, truth be told) that I have ridden now 2 days in a row??? A total of 5 (count 'em) rides. Maybe 6 if I can move my ass from this chair. Not quite possible this moment.

So, today was the "Need to work Tahoe" day to ensure that we are on the right track recovering from his strange colic yesterday. So, out we came and work we did. I was not going to ride, but it was about 60 out, sunny, beautiful and so, well, seemed like a walk down the driveway was a good idea. Got to the end and seemed like a walk around the property was a good idea. Finished that and it seemed like a walk into the jump field was a good idea. Got in there and it seemed like trying to get him to walk over this log.was a good idea. (seeing the trend here?)

when you get closer, it appears a bit "stranger..."

but really, it's pretty small. But strange looking. Oh, and no natural or unnatural wings of any sort. That  admittedly might pose a problem.. and  I admit, it kind of did.

So, since my efforts on his back were a solid failure, I thought I'd lead him over. Another "OMG! These STUPID humans! But she has peppermints...better go, huh?" moment to be had by Tahoe.  So, he did. A few times. Even jumped the  bigger part, (kinda). So, I got on...outside, from the log (Big deal, you know- getting on an OTTB out in the open...Taco trained me well on this one- we never really did this safely.)  Tahoe was good and stood while I clamored on.  I headed towards the log again. He went once and then decided that he'd had enough of the human & pony show and decided that he might like to do something else instead. Pretty much anything else. Like pout. So, off I got again, and over we went again with me jumping with a great deal of excitement.  I got back on (still good about that, thankfully) and went thru our dance routine (again.)

 Then-his brain got clicking and he decided that perhaps jumping this damn log, where I wanted him to jump it, was a good idea.  Much better then just standing there with me clucking and telling him that it is a good idea to go over the damn thing. And that was that. Simple, huh?

Despite the fact that there was some weak discussion about this (no spurs nor crop made it kind of difficult to discuss. We needed to reason...) I am really proud of him. He DID it- was brave, and pretty honest. I mean, that is a big field, and he is not straight, and I am not solid. Could have (and should have) made for a disaster. But, this did not happen. He was good! So, back to the barn, rinsed off, and given an extra bit 'o' grain (which thankfully he ate right on up...wheew.)

So, onto Reason. Out we went to lunge. Yesterday he was very good. Well... good enough for me at least. I had already decided that I was going to walk him over the log when we  were done lunging. No dummy am I! I will show him early what XC might look like at the minnow level. So, today, well, the gas musta had a bit of water in it, as we were sputtering on the lunge. I was much more out of breath then Reason was (no dummy is HE!) at the end. He just did not have much of a game face. So I was not going to get on him and just walk him to the above log. But then,  I reasoned, I had better at least sit on him so he got the clue that this is what a big horse does. So I did. TOday we found 1st gear. Kind of like 1st base for a teenager- not what it will be, but the act is the same. We went forward. Not very fast, nor with any semblance of straightness, but we did go from point A to B- just not as the crow flies. A drunk crow, maybe. 

So, we got to the door. And .... I was going to get off, but it seemed like a good idea to see if he might walk up the hill. My reasoning was this: it was heading towards the barn. But, boy oh boy, it seemed very very far away.

We were brave and up the hill we walked. And yes, I was scared. Because all I had was a halter and a lead rope. Some times I wonder about my sanity.

So we got up to the barn and I lept off and handed Reason tons of peppermints and a big hug. He like both of those.  We headed down to the jump field, and he followed me over those willingly enough. I then decided (I did a lot of that today, didn't I?) that perhaps I should see if he thought going up and down the stone wall was a good idea. 

If you count

five stones over, that is where I aim for. Sweet  Reason jumped right up that wall...and right on down!

What a good boy!

He took it all as I would expect from Reason- in stride, without fuss. Nice boy! Goooodddddd Boy!

We then went inside, when I remembered that Reason did not exactly like baths so, I thought it would be a good idea to bathe him.  From this picture, I don't think he agrees!

All in all, another great horse day. The kind of day where you get to remember why you do all that you can do to keep them- and keep them happy, safe and sound. The kind of day where you sleep soundly at night, as both the mind and body are tired.

A glorious day and then Tahoe gets Nephrosplenic Entrapment- what????

the hell is that??  I had no idea. So. here is Tahoe earlier today...

He looks to be very happy, as he should have been. That changed in a big fat hurry...but several hours later, really.  

But prior to his  Nephrosplenic Entrapment...  (the good part of the story) we had the most lovely ride. He was perfect. I cantered him both ways (okay, this seems small, but this horse could buck me right on off should he choose- his canter is a bounding one, with great push from behind- all the better to buck with, m'dear!)  Then, we ventured outside down the drive, thru the XC pasture, and played on our log. Okay, since I don't really jump when no one is here, I walked over it. We did have a few moments when he thought that trolls and tigers lived under the logs, but overall, was pretty good!  THEN!

I took him over to our driveway stone wall. And without an issue, we began to circle and added in the wee drop to our circle and he was perfect again!  I was, needless to say thrilled. They say we get what we need, and not what we want...I did not WANT another horse, but I think I may have needed Tahoe.  I realize that is a bit backwards, but oh well, I'll take it. So, he was one of my rides today.

I have to say that the other boys were just superstars, too!  Reason was such a grown up! I lunged him, and then, again, without fanfare, got on him. Now, forward is not understood, as he walked next to me, right? So in his Reason way, he kept backing up, as I was saying walk on.  It took me a moment to figure out what he was doing. He was trying to figure out how to get next to me! Funny how I stayed the same distance the whole time- Silly Reason!  And Wrainthur was just fantastic, too! He went right to work, with a smile, and did everything I asked of him willingly and cheerfully.  

There are times in life where you pinch yourself and say..."I am the luckiest person I know!" and today was one of those days. Just perfect. I did not stress about dinner (and am snacking on Cap'n Crunch as I write this waiting for barn check."  I had that kind of happy that just deserves to be talked about. I took lots of pictures of the horses in the sun, and it was just...beautiful. Despite the mud. Beautiful!

Wrainthur with Tahoe peeking out...

Bobbi above and Tahoe an hour before his issues...

Then, I fed after dinner. Tahoe came in- slower then normal, and did not dive into his slop. He then began to toss his head, and for all intents and purposes, appeared to be colicing. Yet- he was pooping and farting. Hmmm. Vitals were off, HR was high at over 50, resp btw 20-30 and he was banging into the stall walls. He then would wrap himself around me as if to say...MOM! HELP!   The onset was quick enough that I was worried. So emergency call here we come!

So...what gives?  

Nephrosplenic Entrapment most likely! The onset is very quick and violent. They almost look like a neuro case. Nothing touches the pain that I possess and I know that we were very lucky that A) Christy came out...and B) I noticed it right away. I knew that the onset was very quick, and I knew exactly what he eats and well, it ended (thus far) really really well! He got a lot of drugs (I can't remember...bad horse mom!) and rectal was abnormal. No gut sounds on the left to speak of. HR was 54, resp 26+, temp 99.3. So, the rectal was abnormal because his bladder was over distended. His spleen was away from the body wall. And, the manure that was there was very wet and soggy.  He was tacky for his mucus membranes, however.  When she tubed him he was (rightfully) not a great patient. So, he bled- almost a 1/2 bucket full of blood (gross). This, however, was good for his speen, as it shrunk it some. In addition, we took him down to the indoor and made him RUN! He was now pretty sure that his human had gone totally nuts. But, then, about 10 min into it, you could see his hind end freeing up and he really seemed happier. the acid test was putting him back into his stall, and lo an behold, his dinner suddenly looked good!

So, I am heading back down to check on him and hope that all will be good. God...I was really scared for a moment....

Reason- later on in the day.

Reason...

He only walked in small circles, but none the less...I got on him
alone, without fireworks! Gooooood boy Reason!

K- I'm over it.

Feeling a bit sorry for myself I admit over the past few weeks. Done. Finished. Feeling okay.

So, I am heading out to the barn, but thought- hmmm, I'd update here. It's been over a week. I am entering my last week as an official non-student. It's been a semester, and guess what? I like it! Best change that way of thinking, huh?? We have a meeting with the entire class on Sunday for dinner. Then, on Monday, it's official. I am going to orientation. I will then become a PA-S.

Shit.

Worked a lot of hours the past several weeks, but I am not planning on picking any more up. Therefore, I have 4 more 12's to work. I am going to miss a few of my co-workers so much- Mary, Kerry, Laura, Lauren, Lori, Andrea are a few that come to mind. They are very unique. Wonderful nurses.

So, more later, but off I go to finish feeding!

Bliss...

Okay now...

So, I just went back thru the CoTH forums and looked for Taco threads. Of course, there are several. I did not read them all- maybe I will some day- but I read enough to be amazed at what that horse went thru. He is such an amazing critter.... Actually, critter is never a word that should be attached to Taco. He would be much more likely to call himself an equine. Or Equid. I am not sure that he would know what that meant, but he still would call himself that.

But what remains is that he truly is amazing in how he just made it. Despite everything. Now, I have to say that I might not have gone that route again. Very expensive and heart-breaking. But I did, and so, here it is. And it is a testament to his vets and his support crew that no one ever gave up on him. He does have that special "zing" that makes him somehow worthy. And Taco is worthy. No question about it.

So onto the search for names for Tahoe. I keep thinking it has to be iconic- but for what? I am not sure. Something about this change, and flow and difference. Something that says change is mixed- not all good, not all bad. Something that included water. But, not sure.

but for memory road---here are some of the CoTH threads... The one I'd Love to find is of the CCI where it was an almost no go. But I think those are lost for good...sad....

Here is one thread... 
and another
and yet another

A Taco Day...

A day filled with reading entries about Taco...reliving the past thru my words and actually feeling how difficult that time was with him. It was REALLY hard, and I can hardly imagine that I sold him.

So what is strange is that it was the right thing to do. I know that. He is in a much better place for him- and therefore, it was/is the right thing. Stacy is fantastic with him and even as it is hard to say, I know that Taco has become a team with Stacy and has moved on. So, I come back to my kind of difficult place of knowing that what I want is not best. And I want best at all times.

My post earlier said that I try and see the bright side at all times. I do...and I remain committed to that. So, I am not exactly going in the right direction when I am sitting here in my personal quandary. Because I am not exactly seeing the bright side. Trust me on this, I want to.

So, the bright side is this. Taco is being fantastic. His jumping is amazing, and his flatwork is right back where it was 3 years ago before he got hurt. He looks amazing, and is happy. He has been really healthy, and all those hours and months of rehab and work really paid off. He made it...thru hell AND high water, he made it. And he could not have a better person than Stacy- and her support team is just amazing. It's all so clear and simple. Amy has done great things for both of them. And I can really see the progress in Stacys riding. It's quite impressive! I sure would not want them in my class at any show!

My bright side is I got into PA school.

God, maybe I just need to get over it. I just can't seem to....

Water water everywhere...

So I come outside today, and what do I find? I find that Tahoes stall is flooded with water. Like, maybe oh, 4" of water? I am NOT kidding. See pic at right.  This is because his waterer got off balance- so it suffered the worst of waterer issues- the weight fell on the wrong side and never turned off. I knew the moment that I walked in to the barn and Tahoe was trying to find a dry spot to stand on....none to be found. He hightailed it outta that stall right way!

So, for today, I spent an hour throwing out bedding that was really fine- until it became saturated with water. Like, oh, 50$ worth of bedding. How annoying! But, now, I see the light. Because now I know that I will have a TOTALLY clean stall! TOTALLY clean! New bedding, corners  clean, everything clean.

Now, that is good.

I always want to see the bright side- always. And I must say, that this is the only bright side of this mornings efforts. ;-)

Beautiful day here--if you like mud!

I emailed about my saddles. I want to ride badly- and the horses need it too. So, hopefully that can happen soon. I am planning on working this weekend for a few hours.  Then, 7 more shifts. After that, for the month of April and beginning of May? Horses horses horses.

Sigh.

cats

I always said I had to go to Cat School. I have had cats before, but in this case, with our cats I am out of my league. So, this summer we ended up having 3 orphan kittens arrive at the farm. About 9 days old, they needed milk and lots of feeding. So, one found a home, but we ended up with 2...called (by me) Hilda and Zoey (or by the boys, Orange cat, and calico cat). Now, I have a lot of experience with orphans. What I know is that a mom (and dad) is VERY important, as they teach the rules. Zoey has obviously decided that she is a JRT. She burrows under the covers, sleeps right between Art and myself at night, and overall, runs the roost. Here are a few kitty pics. What can I say? I like the kittens.

Then, we have LUCAS who deserves all caps as he is HUGE. 

And then, Rocky, who deserves mention only because I am fairly convinced that nothing in the world loves me more then Rocky.

But then, there is Hilda- named for her crazy love of brooms.  Here she is, at about 12 days wrapped in Nicks arms. Cute, huh?

Can I publish

From my iPhone? Seriously! Wow
Sent from my iPhone

today is the day to be productive!

So here are a few pics that I have taken of the Tack Room Cleaning In Process. Okay, yeah, this is the feed room- sorry, but...
The water heater broke and therefore, flooded the tack room. So, we had to take every thing out. EVERYTHING.
This gave me the opportunity to clean the pit that it had become. Here is phase one...

What I found in the tack room has some kind of sad moments. I found Tacos feed bucket from oh-so-long ago (reduced feed as he was on stall rest- see entries in Feb) Daves SmartPak container and I also found, complete with milk drops in it, some of Reasons milk buckets. Now, this had nostalgia attached to it, but also a certain amount of YUCK factor. Really? I am that bad? Gross.

So, after attempting to solve the Privacy vs, want people to see things, here I am! Heading back outside, trying to get things clean enough before the vet gets here....shots, coggins and more today! Chaching!

here are some horse pics... pics of horses

Just so there is always a record...

I have taken the blog posts from COMH and made them here- dated them Feb 1,2 and 3 2008- which is about the time frame the posts took place during. I have tagged some of them- Taco, Wrainthur, Reason. ;-)

I am thinking about where I am today- where I was 2 years ago, and what will happen in 2 years. My God- the past 3 years have flown by. I just realized that Taco's injury (which defines time for me) happened 3 years ago. If I look back on the blogs, I bet that I can find posts from them. Or maybe on the COMH page? I'll look and post.

So- what is now... Off to PA school. I met Nick D today- what a great guy he is and will be a terrific class mate. I am meeting with Shannon and Anne on Thursday. So, I am happy about that, too.

And, 2 years from now I will be in Clinicals. And looking for a real job. And thinking about moving. And...and...and. So, that is that, really. 2 years ago I was somewhat blissfully unaware of things- and little did I know that the changes they were a comin' .

I am excited that I can carpool- and excited that I can still spend time with the horses. I can assume that this blog will then trend towards school, but hopefully will still have some of the horse stuff, too. Because now I know, no mistaking it, they remain as the most important thing other then family I have. So, with that, here are some pics of the boys that make me happy!

More later...

The eyes

There is nothing as amazing to me as the eyes of someone that is vented- where you know that the person is there- ready to enter back into life and take over their own breathing. There are some patients that just grab you with their eyes, pulling you closer and asking the hardest question of all-why?
Those patients are the ones that I take with me when I leave. I have never been a person that things about prayer as a way, often resorting to the COTHism of jingles. For these patients, the ones that stay in my vision, these are the ones that I think about during my days off.
I think that being able to be an active part in these patients lives will be one of the best parts of being a PA....