The good and the bad about going to school.
Lots of good, obviously. Hard, however, to balance things- and get things done. House not as clean, my physical not being as good (yes, still thinking I am FAT.), barn not as clean, horses dirty. Dinner? What's for dinner? I don't know.... Laundry piles, and the kitchen table? Well, we are still eating on it, but we have to clear a space...my books are piled everywhere.
but, I am getting a lot of feedback that is positive. My first back-to-school paper was a nice grade, with the opportunity to revise, which is great for me. I love to revise, and actually see it as an opportunity to get better. I also want to learn to write better...really well, actually. Here begins the conflict.
I really love language. Love writing, love learning about writing. I don't really want to focus on writing about health, at least solely about health. I want to write other things. I want to help others find that vein in themselves. I want to read about writing, teach about writing. It's a world I love to be in, and am honored to be a part of, even in a class such as this, an undergrad class. But I am in another program.
Health care means much to me, as I am a caretaker at heart. But I am also a introspective person, too, and that is where the writing comes in...in a way that I can and would never share in the normal world, I share in writing. That sharing, and the skills to do so make me...and this sounds strange, but bear with me, salivate (God, that sounds horrific). Similar to, and as compulsive as, falling in love. It pushes you further toward something that may or may not be good for you. You don't know until you get there, it's magnetic, compulsive.
So, for now, I get to wade in these waters, and I am thrilled to be here. Each reading, learning, feels like washing your face with clean water, refreshing, cleansing and invigorating. Pretty nice place to be, actually.