Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Frustration abounds.

okay, so this is one of those bitch posts. Since no one reads this (and i am pretty sure about that!) I can bitch. Whaa whaa whaa.
I am seeing in my class the same sort of life thing that makes me nuts. First, expectations are set. They are painfully high, confusing, scary. Okay, so you decide to press on regardless. You do what you should. And the rest of the world does their merry little thing- not carrying the weight they should. Certainly with the standards review with USPC, I see that. Quite a few people are not carrying their weight, yet wanting the glory. Some are "more cool" then others and therefore get the applause  that seems okay for that. I am a worker bee, but damn it, I am working. So, here I go. Same path, same bricks. How to change this? I am not sure. Much like changing the sentence from the catalogue, I just am unsure. I wrote an email to the prof, trying to explain my position. (God, was I frustrated, crying and all!) That is a good thing for me- not the crying, but the taking action. And maybe having a class like this is good for me, too. I know the next year will be hard, and things will not be easy and certainly things will be unfair- I am a rather old fish in a crowded pond. There are many prettier fish out there for sure! I guess being my age is a blessing and a curse. I know it will happen at least. So, anyway, feels a bit better now. I guess.

I do NOT want to lose my high standards of myself. Being lazy is n o t okay at all. I guess i am a bit tired, however.

No comments: