Thursday, May 24, 2012

It's true- I am finally done and a PA-C

This will hopefully be a series of posts. because, well, so many things are happening, and while connected, are really separate. I have had a very hard time separating out the good and the change, from the sadness that has enveloped me at times. I am okay- but please excuse a few weepy moments and emotional tirades.  Hopefully, I can separate it all out.

So, that PANCE test? Eh um ugly times. I figured out 1/2 way thru section 4 that the test was not about knowing the right answer, but knowing what the wrong answers had to be. Very few were clear cut (to me) and often were more "oh, um, well it CAN'T be that, but COULD be this, but probably not...." logic type answers. I wasted a lot of energy on the way I looked at the questions. Bottom line, I passed and got a big old sign to put in my -ahem- office. Maybe I'll care some day? I don't know. I wish I had enjoyed the journey a bit more. I usually do, so PA school certainly threw mud in the face of that.

The end result is I have a job- the one I really wanted- and now that I have it, am scared to death. But hopefully the newness will overwhelm me, and I will get back to loving learning about health/sickness and pathophys and not be so internally stressed that I make the learning awful for me. My internal voice is not so kind!

I have zero idea of my schedule. None. I know I will work some nights, so I will set about finding someone to watch the farm for me when I work nights. I think it will be okay. If I get lucky and get back to backs, I will probably stay in AVL so I can rest as much as possible. I figure that I will work 4 days a week, and eventually maybe 3? I hope. Financially, however, times are- not fun... so I may end up having to work a lot more than I'd hoped for a bit. Again, it's all good and I feel really glad that I am at such a great place, in a great town, and seemingly great people.

I've gotten a few blast emails and they are funny! Seems like everyone has a great sense of humor and I am very excited to get to know them all better. Hopefully they will not be put off by how little I know!

 It's a strange thing- but I am going to emphasis rest for myself pretty soon. This is not a normal state for me- I am usually gogogo. If I do not rest soon, I may regret it.  I think I may out and out crash into a muddled heap someplace if I don't force myself to take a few days out and just not pack, or do anything. Not an attractive sight, I assure you- grown woman in a muddled heap! I've seen it in my minds eye a few times!

Other than that, I am pushing on, trying to figure out what have "value" to me as I pack. I want a very clean house now- I feel strongly about that, so a lot of extra "stuff" is not coming. Thank goodness for Kindle and online resources.  I took a load down last week, and the overlap of my moving in and Jazz and her family moving out allowed for me to really think about what mattered. My room down there has my favorite paintings on the walls, and it makes me really happy to see them. They are beautiful. Of course, of horses.  I do love the sheep picture above that I found in Burlington but did not know the results of the boards, and again, being financially responsible I did not get them.  Maybe later in the summer??

Okay- 2 more important posts to go!

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