Saturday, September 17, 2011

The rotations keep rolling

I am currently in my surgical rotation. Parts, I love. Parts I dislike. I have seen a lot of what I do not like in me coming out- dealing with one of the team members is quite challenging for me. I have 2 more weeks. I canwill be nice, and think good thoughts about this person and know at the end of it all, I would rather have me than that person taking care of my patients. And if you "know" me, that's saying a lot.

I finished psych. Outstanding preceptor, but horrible rotation. I am rotating in an area where despair is the norm, and the genetic pool is riddled with mutations. Psych is a hard one for me, because we can't fix it. Not one bit. Our meds might make a difference, but does it really change the illness? No, it'd be a fix, but not a change. In many ways, it's like a cancer, but a never-ending-never-changing sort of cancer. Lifelong CLL. But worse. I admit wanting to fix things, to make things better. Inpatient psych, esp as a consult service really can't do that, nor does it pretend to do this. Perhaps that's why there are so many tools and ways to pigeon hole the patients. A DX is essential, and knowing what their GAF is becomes important. How does axis III change axis II?  I? Perhaps intellectualizing all this allows for the MP to keep some distance, and allows for better care. I don't know, and I know that I am not going into psych.

That's okay. I am ok with that- there are so many things I want to go into, ruling one out is in my best interest right now.

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