Saturday, August 16, 2008

getting closer to the end of time.

I begin this blog with a huge sigh. It's been a long road, and yet, I feel we just started. This class, much more so then my other 2 classes, have been my life, my focus.

I think I have had a good understanding of what style is from the beginning of the class. I am not sure, however, if I was able to articulate it as well as I should, and that is where I learned the most about style as a writer, and as a student, too. I have always had an understand of audience, and have been fairly successful in writing for a specific audience outside of school. This has NOT been the case in school. Perhaps my distance of 20 odd years, perhaps my worry of getting it right has been a factor, but, it's clear to me that this process has been essential in my growth as a student.

Style as a student writer is a bit more difficult. I am still trying to decide how to meld those worlds, to create something that works for me. I realize as I write this that I come up against a particular road block for myself. I am someone that gets things right, and therefore, anything less then an A feels like a failure to me. I am just not a half-assed person.I carry this thru in all aspects of my life. If I am going to ride prelim, then damn it, I am going to be the absolute best I can be, given whatever shortcomings I may meet/have.

However, I also know that my writing style is pretty important to me, and as far as my voice as a writer must feel true- to myself, my ideas, and my purpose. So, now, with this class, my papers, my blogs, I must somehow create a comfort place for myself. Every person has a preference in what they read, and what style they appreciate. I know my writing will appeal to some, and not to others. My husband is a great example. He does not enjoy reading prose, poetry or literature that does not have purpose- action fiction, okay, but other sorts of writing does not appeal to him as it does to me. I know I will run up against this as I approach my next semester of writing, which, probably, will be non-existent with Chem, BioChem, Genetics as well as A and P. :-)

So, what has come to my attention is this- I want to write for my audience- that sounds strange, but stick with me here. I am grateful for the clarity that peer review has created for me, and grateful for the edits that Dr. K has provided- but as a way to hone my voice, not change it. But, I am not going to try and become something that I am not. How do I know what my audience is? I am not sure... When I write for USPC, I know it's kids, and horse kids. That one is easy for me; in all honestly, I just reach back a bit and I am there. I do think that I will write for more then that, perhaps after this science part of school is done. the one thing I know, and have gotten in touch with again, is that writing is very important to me. I am not as capable of sharing my feelings IRL, long story there, but in words, with language, I feel like I can give feeling and texture to the world as an artist does with paint and a brush. I am perhaps too sappy at times, and that worries me, but overall, it may also be where my strength exists.

So, style is creating what we want for who wants it. In that, it's tricky. It's subjective. In the end, style actually is as some suggested in their blogs earlier. It is how you wear your words, your way of creating a paper, book, essay, that reflects who you are, while reaching out to your reader in a way that they can absorb what your point, ideas are. So, Style is actually who we are, but as writers, rather then humans. It's not stagnant, but motionfilled, like water in a river. The banks are there, but the words can wash up on them, creating small disruptions that actually work, as long as the banks stay solid (Grammar, word usage, etc) you can succeed. (at least I hope so!! :-) )

No comments: