Just got a call...

...which was nice for the day from the husband of a patient that I had a few months ago. I gave them my phone number just in case they needed something. He called just to say that he had been carrying my number, and they were so glad that I had come into their lives- and just...such a nice thing to get.

This has been a really difficult day. Just tough. I am not sure what I can do about it- the issues are so varied. At times, it would be so much easier to just say- Okay, I am doing this alone- I cannot carry you and me and everything else. 

yet, I understand how it is. I really really am understanding now- 

I don't understand the whys- but, I am beginning to see that the importance of love is deeper then just the surface and that perhaps I need to take note. I have a connection that is so much deeper then anything that I could have ever thought possible.  I am very very much in love.  I am in love with a spirit, with a soul, with an etherial being- but a physical one, too- even though I  don't know that physical being. It is the type of love I feel for my children- inexplicable but very valid. It does cause a physical pain- which is so strange, as I can also say I have never been as happy as I am, too. What a coin....