OMG it has been so long...I am not sure what has happened to me and my ability (or inability?) to write. The last post was 2017 and everything about that post remains true. So true.  a few things have changed, as I am in Fort Collins- which is great- but as of yesterday Nick has had his daughter born, and this feels...big. Her name is Rosemary Deloris Arcos-Strayer which is a mouthful but she is TRULY adorable. So being closer to them might be nice if I can make enough money to live here- A2 is VERY expensive! But I really enjoy the walkability of A2. So- there ya go. 

Things that changed- Divorce from G happened and WTH did I ever think that the spots would change> It was expensive- I lost SO much money from this relationship. But the end result is its over and have been single since 2016 essentially. The divorce took forever (my lawyer was an ass- and actually said to me "what did you ever think would happen??" which while its true, kinda mean. My lack of success is becoming legendary. And I'm 100% okay being alone. I HAVE dated a bit and none have been what I would call a success but I have learned from each one. I just don't know...

I moved back to FoCO and it has been lovely, I have a lovely, humble home which I enjoy greatly, I seriously went crazy on the gardens,  I built raised beds and did a terrible job this year doing veggies but this was my worse year- there was little incentive to make it work well this year, I did not water enough which just is not a good plan. I will do better

I also did get a horse- not ANY horse but the amazing Heldig, She is a wonderful mare, kind, cuddly and everything I would have ever wanted in a horse. She is tough and has a great work ethic, I am endlessly proud of her. But I am not sure that keeping her mine is feasible. It will remain to be seen. I am leasing her right now which is helpful. Still expensive though!!

New barn project

Okay, yeah- its been years, but here I go...and this time, it will chronicle the rebuilding of a life with horses.

I won't bore anyone with the details, but suffice to say that if I did not like transitions, well, I got my fill in the past 5 years. SO...

I find myself with same cats, one new dog, one LESS dog, and several less horses and a new husband. Change anyone?

My life. Actually, this is pretty damn close....

And I spent a few lovely years in Co- Fort Collins to be precise and it quickly became the best place I have ever lived. I made several amazing friends that I will hold dear to my heart and am so thankful to have met them. And I had a great boarding situation, with one of those friends on the Reason Bandwagon.  The cynical person that I am says i did not deserve to be in such a great place. So fates pushed me back to the Carolinas- first to the worst job I have ever had for SO many reasons...and in a town that honestly, except for a well placed Pelican Balls, was the worst place I had ever lived in a house that had too big of a yard to not have my horse at home again. Took as long to mow, with no real benefit of seeing the ponies out the window. Couple that with terrible boarding situations, and well- Mama wasn't happy. Not one bit.

Checking out Craigslist- I found a wee ad that proclaimed a farm house with "endless possibilities" that I drove past and fell in love with. I needed to really think about that endless...

And I quit my job- and as hard as that was financially, I ended up getting a great job- amazing job- in Hendersonville. Okay, far away from my sweet farm house with several issues, but still the best. Job. I. Could.ever.imagine.

The Reason...literally

And another REAL reason...

And we moved in. OMG- the dump trips, the water pipes breaking, the bugs, and oh- did I mention that the deck was an accident waiting to happen because the back of the house was falling? Like 4.5" falling? Oh, and a barn that is...32x30. Who DOES that?  When I figure out how to add pics I will. But for now- just imagine..... Okay- GotPics...

My family....sigh....

Looks QUITE nice, right? Its kinda like someone seeing me in the dark- MUCH better. I like myself better when my contacts are not in-kinda the same

And this-- this is why-really why. Horse make the landscape look better, don't they?

The dog and pony show

A bit of a move update. I am planning on making the most final of my major moves this coming weekend. I am very much not ready. The house is not sold, so I can still move things down slowly. but fear as I start my job, I may get overwhelmed and just want some sort of normal in my life down there. What that means to me right now is not entirely clear, but I am hoping for clarity soon enough.

The past four years have NOT been normal. I wonder how I will handle normal??  I am certainly looking forward to normal!

I took Nick to Chicago for his great Embarking On The Coast of California Bike Trip- he got a great airplane ticket from Chicago to LA.  

Millennium Park- dead center, that's us!

A happy accident photo. Gotta say I love my iPhone!

If I think too much about this, I realize I am a total idiot to let him do this. But I am not thinking too much about it, and instead realizing that there are few times in life where you can pick yourself and forget everything and just do something like this. This is his time. We spent a bit of time wandering in Chicago the day before which was great. I did manage to price line the worse hotel in the history of the universe so sleep that night was...not great.

I remember this fountain as a kid SO well, inventing stories in my head about the horses (actually serpents I think?) and loving the colors at night. Annie used to take us there, it was just down the street from the Apt that she and Dad had. 

I did not cry when I left him at 5 am, and he is currently on the beautiful coast of CA, in Santa Barbara. Lucky boy!













SO! The move!

First shift of animals will be Poppi, Cats (maybe all? Not sure if I can deal with all those cats in the car!), Tahoe, Bobbi, his Donkey and Wrainthur. Plants, hopefully. 

April, my dearest friend for over 21 years, has decided  (bless her) that she is going to drive down with me, taking 2 of my horses and the donkey for me. I will follow with my car (which is getting fixed as we speak) and b-rup which needs a new floor. I know I'd stress if I had any horses in there. The stuff in it is just fine. It's the thought of the horses getting hurt that would freak me out...especially after the Pollards trailer accident this past week- and since they lived in our house for a few years before we owned it, I figured that better safe than sorry.

Bottom line is this:  April knows me better than I think anyone does, and I truly love her for just being April and for loving and caring for me in spite of me.

I got a call this evening from a woman who heard from the Voice of Tryon  (Okay, not really, but This Week In Tryon really has all the happenings in the area and it's due to TWIT that I'll be able to keep up!) that I was looking for someone to help me keep track of feeding, etc when I was working. Ok- this may seems small but it's actually HUGE to me. One less thing to fret over.

More soon, but gotta pack!

What I will miss about Ann Arbor

Call it my top loves list...not sure what will and will not make it on here.  I admit that the Five Year Engagement movie did highlight a lot of what the outside sees about Ann Arbor, in particular the most amazing Zingermans, which goes without saying is the absolute best. Yes, a sandwich cost more than my first apt did, but oh boy, worth it! The Bakehouse is outstanding, and of course, Mr. Nick worked there. Enough said!

But....starting with (what I am pretty sure is my TOP-Pun intended) is Summer Fest!   Top of The Park is a reason to be in Ann Arbor in the summer.  The list of bands that play is amazing, from the Ragbirds to other local bands- many of which will go on and become national names. Truly outstanding.

 Click on the link and I DARE you to not want to get down there and get on your dancing shoes. The movies are great, and the atmosphere is always wonderful, festive and - well, brings tears to my eyes to leave A2 just as summer festival is starting.

Of course, I just found out they are playing in Evanston! Ragbirds in Evanston! A not to be missed show!

And then,The Arb...

this past year with Nick

Nick was very tolerant of my desire for pictures

There is a lot of A2 that is not seen by the causal visitor and the Arb has to be the best of the not-seens. It's beautiful there. I would often take family members of patients down there when the weather was nice when I worked on 7C. What I remembered most from living in the hospital with a sick family member was that leaving the hospital felt wrong but was essential-the old line of "you have to take care of yourself to take care of others". So I would bring whatever family member  I felt needed a walk down the steep stairs outside of Taubman, and within a 5 min walk, was along the river. Blissful, even in the midst of turmoil.

Maybe I need an Arb Walk....

Then, as far as food goes, Frita Batidos has to be a top pick for me. Just the general feeling of the place makes it a win on all levels. And the milkshake with the added rum? Oh Dear God...nothing better. I am not a foodie, but Fritas somehow has the perfect mix of...perfect. If you're in A2, it's a must.  Then, Pilars Tamales-   first had them a the famers market, and once I found the cafe on Liberty, tucked away in a strip mall, I found my place when I needed a great tea, or just some good old comfort food.   Marks Carts is great for a quick lunch, again, hidden somewhat from the bustle of the rest of the town, but once you find it, you are sure to go back.

Main Street won the award for being a top ten Main Street. It is. I think this is deserved award, and I will miss Main Street for a lot of reasons. The bustle on summer evenings, so many outside places to eat- festive even when its just a normal night. So many places that are Go To's for me on Main Street- Falling Water as well as  Peaceable Kingdom are both places that I can actually enjoy shopping at. I am not a big shopper, but those 2 places often get the nod when I need the perfect gift.

And since you're so close. stop by for Sonic Lunch  another great perk of Ann Arbor in the summer. It's usually packed, so go early and stake out your space. Bank of Ann Arbor really does great things for the community, which is just so nice!

The Farmers Market has just started to expand to an artisan market during the fall and winter months. Usually there are several crafters there during the normal farmers market, but what I love the absolute most is the plants, usually native to the area. If you see my "what I miss about my farm" post, you'll see many of the plants that I have gotten at the framers market.  Kerrytown (where the market is located) has a really neat history, and was created within the city for a village type feel. It's expanded beyond that over the years, in great part due to Zingermans I am sure. No matter what you desire, you can find it at Kerrytown, and the Farmers Market is a must go to spot.

Plain and simple, Ann Arbor is vibrant in the spring and summer. It's beautiful here during this time of year. Main Street is alive, it's (for the most part) very safe. It's a wonderful place to be.

And while it's not in Ann Arbor, Tree of Life dance studio is brimming with good energy, good movement, and truly one of the most gifted groups of woman ever. I have a friend that I met there, and she danced her ass off even when we both felt like standing in a corner might be the easier thing to do. I love her for it, and for the shared "Dear God, what have we gotten ourselves into?" moments.  Go watch them, dance with them, join the Zumba class- you will be better for it.

For horse stuff, the best instructor ever is Cathy Henderson at Cobblestone Farm. I did not get to ride very much the past 5 years, but certainly would have gladly re-entered eventing with Cathy at my side. She is one of the kindest, most honest people you'd ever want to meet.  

Of course, I will miss my U of M hospital friends, and supporters. I loved working there, and that I am not there, well, I never thought that I would end up any place other than the U. Lots of learning, laughter and tears over the years. A super hospital.... and the cardiac units, and the Heart Care Program will always be near and dear to my heart. (pun NOT intended but noted.)

I will miss my few friends that I have here. I don't have many friends, but when I "lock on" oh boy, it hurts leaving.  I have met a few people (and re-met a few) that if I stayed, I think would become very important to me. I am sad to leave that possibility.

The actual graduation day....

Here are a few pics of the day.  Jas and the kids came up (quite a feat with 2 under the age of 3...!) and Lauren and Brad came, too. Very nice to have the support.  And the white coat....

Gary F and I- while he LOOKS serious, it's just an act....
Proud of him!

And the proof that I was some sort of something somewhere 

Finally!

Lots of initials huh?

Brit and Mike

Ana was super well behaved

 And now, onto other things!

What I will miss about Michigan (My Farm)

This was going to be just about missing Michigan-

 but what has become very clear to me is what I will miss is 

my farm, 

my flowers, 

my chickens. 

My house? not so much miss the physical,

 but will miss what I know.

What I know

...what I find important to me is what I know. 

What I can depend on, what brings me joy 

is stability.

 I realize that is very NOT 2012

 that we are supposed to be open to the moment, 

the power of change

No denying change is powerful

No metaphors missed here. 

but, clearly (to me)

 I appreciate the knowledge of knowing

that tomorrow, the sun will rise.

That is what I feel about this land

I know it as well as I know myself 

(which may be in question to me at times, 

so it could be argued-quite fairly-

 that I know my land better than I know myself)

 The garden has not been tended the past several years
Many reasons-

but each year, the flowers continue to rise, and surprise me each year.

I love this view

and as scary as it is, watching Reason gallop up the drive from the lower pasture, 

I love this view, too

But I will miss this land. I will miss the earth. 

I will miss being in a place that seems to know me, and gives me beautiful gifts each year,

even when I have had to abandon it

It's true- I am finally done and a PA-C

This will hopefully be a series of posts. because, well, so many things are happening, and while connected, are really separate. I have had a very hard time separating out the good and the change, from the sadness that has enveloped me at times. I am okay- but please excuse a few weepy moments and emotional tirades.  Hopefully, I can separate it all out.

So, that PANCE test? Eh um ugly times. I figured out 1/2 way thru section 4 that the test was not about knowing the right answer, but knowing what the wrong answers had to be. Very few were clear cut (to me) and often were more "oh, um, well it CAN'T be that, but COULD be this, but probably not...." logic type answers. I wasted a lot of energy on the way I looked at the questions. Bottom line, I passed and got a big old sign to put in my -ahem- office. Maybe I'll care some day? I don't know. I wish I had enjoyed the journey a bit more. I usually do, so PA school certainly threw mud in the face of that.

The end result is I have a job- the one I really wanted- and now that I have it, am scared to death. But hopefully the newness will overwhelm me, and I will get back to loving learning about health/sickness and pathophys and not be so internally stressed that I make the learning awful for me. My internal voice is not so kind!

I have zero idea of my schedule. None. I know I will work some nights, so I will set about finding someone to watch the farm for me when I work nights. I think it will be okay. If I get lucky and get back to backs, I will probably stay in AVL so I can rest as much as possible. I figure that I will work 4 days a week, and eventually maybe 3? I hope. Financially, however, times are- not fun... so I may end up having to work a lot more than I'd hoped for a bit. Again, it's all good and I feel really glad that I am at such a great place, in a great town, and seemingly great people.

I've gotten a few blast emails and they are funny! Seems like everyone has a great sense of humor and I am very excited to get to know them all better. Hopefully they will not be put off by how little I know!

 It's a strange thing- but I am going to emphasis rest for myself pretty soon. This is not a normal state for me- I am usually gogogo. If I do not rest soon, I may regret it.  I think I may out and out crash into a muddled heap someplace if I don't force myself to take a few days out and just not pack, or do anything. Not an attractive sight, I assure you- grown woman in a muddled heap! I've seen it in my minds eye a few times!

Other than that, I am pushing on, trying to figure out what have "value" to me as I pack. I want a very clean house now- I feel strongly about that, so a lot of extra "stuff" is not coming. Thank goodness for Kindle and online resources.  I took a load down last week, and the overlap of my moving in and Jazz and her family moving out allowed for me to really think about what mattered. My room down there has my favorite paintings on the walls, and it makes me really happy to see them. They are beautiful. Of course, of horses.  I do love the sheep picture above that I found in Burlington but did not know the results of the boards, and again, being financially responsible I did not get them.  Maybe later in the summer??

Okay- 2 more important posts to go!